Aging is an inevitable part of life, yet it often brings about feelings of shame and discomfort. In a society that frequently glorifies youth, it’s crucial to understand how age shame manifests and how to cope with its effects.
This article, drawing from insights at Hartzell Counseling and Psychology Today, explores the depths of age shame and offers practical strategies for navigating these feelings.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT AGING? HERE’S A SAFE SPACE FOR YOUR THOUGHTS.
Understanding Age Shame
What is Shame? Shame is a complex emotion involving feelings of guilt and embarrassment. It can lead individuals to believe they are somehow inferior or unlovable.
What is Internalized Age Shame? This involves feeling guilty or ashamed about one’s age. It often manifests as negative self-talk or discomfort with the physical changes that come with aging.
READ: Investing in Healthy Aging — A US Case Study with Global Implications
The Effects of Ageism in Modern Society
Ageism, a form of discrimination based on age, is unfortunately still prevalent.
It can manifest in various ways:
- Interpersonal Ageism: This occurs in personal relationships, where assumptions are made about an older person’s abilities or capabilities
- Institutional Ageism: This involves discriminatory norms and rules, such as the underrepresentation of older adults in clinical trials or media
- Workplace Ageism: This includes discriminatory practices in the workplace, such as preferring to hire younger individuals or making age-related microaggressions
READ: Aging Philippines Intensifies Unpaid Care — Women Carry the Burden
Coping Strategies
It’s essential to address negative feelings about aging to maintain self-esteem and overall well-being.
Here are some effective strategies:
- Explore Your Own Ageist Stereotypes: Identify and challenge any negative beliefs you hold about aging
- Take Care of Your Mental Health: Aging can bring significant life changes that impact mental health. Prioritize self-care activities and seek professional help if needed.
- Find Positive Role Models: Look to individuals who are thriving at any age as sources of inspiration
- Allow Yourself Space to Grieve: It’s natural to grieve the loss of youth or past abilities. Allow yourself to feel these emotions.
- Stay Connected to Others: Social support is crucial for well-being at any age. Make an effort to maintain and build meaningful connections.
Transforming Toxic Shame to Healthy Shame
According to Bret Lyon (Psychology Today), it’s crucial to transform toxic shame into healthy shame as we age.
This involves:
- Accepting Limitations: Acknowledging that we all have limitations and that these change over time
- Humility: Recognizing our weaknesses and understanding that we are all human
- Learning from Shame: Exploring what our shame about aging wants to teach us
- Coming to Peace: Accepting our past, present, and future
Three Essentials of Healthy Aging
Lyon (Psychology Today) suggests three major tasks to heal old wounds and live a more fulfilling life:
- Coming to Peace with the Past: Reflecting on and making peace with past experiences
- Accepting the Present: Embracing the current stage of life with its challenges and gifts
- Planning for and Coming to Terms with the Future: Preparing for the future while accepting the inevitable changes that come with aging
Therapy can provide valuable support for individuals struggling with aging-related concerns. A therapist can offer guidance and compassion to help you navigate these challenges and find joy and meaning in your daily life.
Age shame can have a profound impact on individuals as they navigate the aging process.
By understanding the nature of age shame and implementing effective coping strategies, it’s possible to embrace aging with greater self-compassion and resilience.
Aging is a privilege. Having more years to live our purpose is not something everyone is blessed with.
Our life today is someone else’s dream.
References:
- Age Shame: Why It Cuts So Deep and How to Cope. Hartzell Counseling. (2024).
- We Don’t Have to Be Ashamed of Aging. Psychology Today. Lyon, B. (2024).
DISCLAIMER
This article provides general information and does not constitute medical advice. Consult your healthcare provider for personalized recommendations. If symptoms persist, consult your doctor.
